Say It Ain't So!
by Beloved-Infidel
Summary: Raoul and Erik share a secret. What could it be? What will Christine do when she discovers this dreadful secret? READ AND FIND OUT!


**Say It Ain't So!  
**_(or)  
_**How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Axe.**

_ "Chriiiiiiiistiiiiiiiine..."_  
Christine whirled around to face her mirror, "Hark!!! But an angel doth call my name on so sweet breath and tones of seduction!!!"  
Erik smiled and pushed the button that worked the counterbalance on the mirror, "Yes, tis I..."  
The mirror did not open.  
"Er..." He pushed the button again, "I, your eh..."  
He pushed it several times in rapid succession, "Angel of... of..."  
And once more, "Of... dammit!" Erik slammed his hand on the button in frustration.  
Christine tapped her foot, waiting impatiently.  
"Angel of... Music..." Erik attempted to pry the door open with his fingers, but to no avail. "Ahem, a little help, if you please?"  
Christine looked up from admiring her gown in the mirror, "What?!? Huh?!?"  
Erik pushed, pried, and banged on the mirror, "It's stuck."  
"Oh, I don't do hardware," she went back to staring at her reflection and thinking how pretty she looked.  
"Damn," he muttered, trying to think. "Hm... aha!" Erik picked up his _Use Only In Emergencies_ axe and swung it back, preparing to smash the mirror open.  
Christine poked the mirror daintily.  
It opened, revealing a rather frustrated, axe-wielding Erik. He blushed deeply, "Thank you, my dear."  
"Oh!!! Great!!! It's - AHHH!!!!!!" She shrieked as she saw him standing with the axe.  
Realizing he was still holding the infernal thing, Erik tossed the axe into the dark abyss of the labyrinth, "Axe? What axe?"  
"AHH - huh?!?" Christine stopped screaming and looked confused, "Wait, wasn't there a... oh heck!!! Just take me!!! Take me now!!!"  
Erik's jaw dropped in shock at his beloved's forward behavior. Then he realized what she had meant, "To my lair you mean?"  
She blinked at him, "Yes, of course!!! What else could I possibly mean?!?"  
"Er, uh," he coughed and shifted his eyes away, "Nothing, nothing at all." He extended his hand to her and she smiled brightly in anticipation of the dark, cold, creepy journey.  
Suddenly, the door slammed open, "DUM DA DUM!" Raoul shouted, announcing his presence.  
Christine screamed a horror flick scream and took the opportunity to edge closer to Erik.  
Raoul winced, "Why yes, Erik is a horrible monster. But don't worry, my dear Christine, I am here to save you!" He made galloping noises and pranced into the room.  
Christine sighed in relief, "Oh wait, it's just you!!! For a moment there, I thought it might actually be someone intimidating!!!"  
Raoul pouted, "Hey now..." He pulled Christine to him and attempted to gather her in his arms, but only succeeded in dropping her on the floor.  
"Oomph"  
"Oops, sorry..." Raoul blushed and shuffled his feet.  
Christine sniffled, "Owie"  
Erik sighed and rolled his eyes, "Oh brother." He helped Christine to her feet and dusted her off.  
She stared at him in disbelief, "He's your brother?!?"  
"What? Oh nonono, my dear. I only meant _Oh brother_ as in _Oh dear here we go again._"  
She eyed Erik suspiciously, "Are you sure?!? Because, if he's your brother that would make you... Philippe!!!" Christine made a grab for the mask, but Erik smacked her hand, "Nono, no touchie!"  
Christine yelped and turned to Raoul, her lower lip trembling "Raoooooooooul," She whined, "He hit my hand!!!" She sniffled and shot an angry glare towards Erik.  
Raoul took a deep breath, "Christine, there is something I must tell you..."  
"Hm?!? Yes?!?" she said, still glaring at Erik.  
"I... I have a second brother..."  
She whirled around to face Raoul, "No!!!"  
He looked away, not able to face her, "Yes."  
She gasped in horror, "Who is it?!?"  
"It is..." he pointed dramatically towards Erik, "HIM!"  
Erik shook his sorrowfully, "Yes, I am Raoul's brother."  
Christine whirled back around to face Erik, "Erik!!! Say it ain't so!!! Say it ain't so!!!"  
"I'm afraid it is so."  
"No!!! It cannot be!!! I'm going to swoon!!!" She threw her hand to her forehead, "Somebody catch me!!!" She fell back into Erik's waiting arms. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked up into Erik's... mask, "My hero!!!"  
Erik closed the space between them and kissed her passionately.  
"!!!!!!!!!" Christine exclaimed as she threw her arms around Erik's neck and embraced him.  
Raoul wrinkled his nose, "Eeeeeew! Wait..." He gasped in shock, his eyes widening. "My fiancée and my brother," he muttered, slumping into a chair, "I never would have suspected"  
Christine and Erik continued to kiss with great vigor.  
"Break it up you two!" Raoul shouted, pulling them apart.  
Erik slapped Raoul, "I beg your pardon!"  
Christine panted for breath. "Wow!!!" she cried, head spinning.  
Erik grinned rakishly, "Why thank you"  
"Oh Erik!!! If only you'd done that before!!! We could have saved ourselves so much trouble!!!"  
"I feel so betrayed..." Raoul sobbed into his hankie. He blew his nose with a great _**BLEEEEEP HONK!**_  
"Hush you!" Erik glared. He took Christine's hand and kissed it, "Forgive me, dear Christine, but I must depart. Until next time."  
She blushed deeply, "Yes, un_TIL_ next time"  
"Until then, adieu." And, smacking Raoul once more for good measure, Erik disappeared into the darkness.


End file.
